How to spice up your sex life:
There comes a time in many relationships where things become mundane. If this rings true for you, the best thing you can do is gather a few ideas and learn how to spice up your sex life before it’s too late.
It took me a while for this to register for many years. When I was younger I lacked confidence in bed in the worst way. I always thought it was a little bit “wrong” . I know it’s bizarre. Perhaps I should have had my head tested!
I also felt that sex was something to be kept private, most certainly should not be talked about openly. It would have been unspeakable (to me) to experiment with… and most certainly should never be ‘playful’ (Yikes)
I don’t know if it was due to old fashioned ideals inherited from my mother … but I just felt that sex did not play an important role in relationships… and that it was only meant to be a “once in a while” event.
As I’ve matured and grown (obviously) I have realized how that line of thinking is just WRONG!
What I have learned and experienced since hitting my forty’s (yes it took me a while for it to register) is that having a good sex life is huge and goes far beyond the bedroom!
Having healthy and fulfilling relationship strengthens the bond between you and your partner in so many different ways it’s crazy!
For one, it’s a de stressor. Taking some time out with your partner to thoroughly enjoy each other is huge.
You will find it does you the world of good and strengthens the connection between you and your loved one.
By putting some real effort into re-connecting and putting playful energy into your sex life, you will soon find that both of you view one and other much differently.
You start to grow closer, form a different type of respect and start to look forward to your time together.
My husband began to express how he looked forward to ‘our’ time and would text or phone me from work to tell me he couldn’t wait to get home.
It was awesome to know he was thinking about me during the day and truly looking forward to spending time with ME.
I’m not saying you have to be off the wall during sex either to make these improvements.
I’m just saying that you should keep it alive and if you do have that experimental nature, trying something new to surprise him is a great way to keep his attention… and I’ll share a few easy to accommodate ideas below… particularly if you don’t have the confidence in bed yet to implement anything more outrageous!
First though, I’ll be up front and share that during my first marriage, my sex life was not spicy; in fact it was more like a chore. I know looking back now it was my understanding of the importance and frankly feel guilty for in many ways for depriving my husband… and me from what could have been.
I strongly believe that we grew apart because of the ‘lack’ of attention to one and other, particularly between the sheets.
I now it can be difficult to imagine that sex does play such a significant roll if you’ve never given it thought, but let me tell you as someone who knows and learned the hard way, its worth putting in the effort to spice up your sex life to keep it exciting and maintain his undivided attention.
Enough said on that topic but here are a few tips to help you spice up your sex life that he’ll thank you for:
- Learn to look at your partner in a brand new light. In other words, imagine how you felt about him when you first met.
- What turned you on on about him?
- Back then it was so exciting wasn’t it?
So what changed?
Figure out what you saw… and learn to see it again. Re kindling the attraction does a lot to rejuvenate old passion… and it can be done with little effort and create all sorts of enjoyment for both of you.
It’s easy to take each other for granted especially if you’ve been together for a while; but even throwing the odd compliment his way will do a lot for his ego. Lets face it, everyone feels good if someone says ‘wow, you look particularly ravishing today”…..
Or… Wow, your butt sure looks good in those jeans.
Another playful yet easy move is to grab his butt as he’s on his way out the door in the morning… and say something like …”ooow… cute butt, I wish we had time so I could peel your pants off right now”… “Oh well, I guess I’ll have to wait” ….
I guarantee you that stroking his ego will run across his mind all day and he’ll wonder what you have in store for him later.
Send an email or text out of the blue… and tell him you can’t wait to have some ‘quiet time’ with him. Or say I’m tired today… how about an early night in bed?” then finish it off with a ‘wink’ There’s an awesome little ‘educator’ full of awesome ideas to turn him on by text. Click the link to check it out. (It’s AWESOME!!)
Buy new lingerie….
You don’t have to spend a fortune either these days. Don’t get me wrong, I love Victoria Secrets, but they’ve got some pretty cute selections on Amazon these days. This is one of my additions!
Here’s my newest addition.
When I’m out with my husband, sometimes I’ll tell him I can’t wait to get home… and that he’s in ‘big trouble when he gets home’ so he’d better be prepared to be on his best behavior later! Letting him think there is some fun punishment ahead can really have his imagination riling all day long!
Share your fantasy… tell him you’re in the mood to be man handled!
Be honest; tell him you’d like to spice it up to keep it strong. Make a deal that every night you want to change it up.
Play a game…
For example – write down different tasks or ‘activities’ and put them on little pieces of paper and put them in a draw string bag. Take turns every night, pulling a piece of paper out with the activity of the day/night. I.e.: tonight you’re on top… and owe a back rub after the deed. (or get more creative)
While I am on the topic, here is a cute and fun game below… and what’s fun about it is that you could even buy it for him and put it under his pillow for him to find! You’ll enjoy seeing his reaction when he finds it no doubt!.
Perhaps give him a ‘steamy coupon’ to cash in after dinner. I really enjoye this
This game is also fun… especially after a night out! It’s amazing how you’ll find ‘new found’ confidence in bed after a cocktail or three!
Rent a sexy video… watch it in bed. It’ll be good for both of you! Its amazing what a steamy movie can do for the libido!
Flash him during dinner, or even in the car. It’s particularly exciting when neither of you can do anything about it. Keep the game alive and brush against him through the day until you CAN do something about it. By the time you get to the bedroom… you’ll both be ready, willing and unstoppable!
Buy a steamy novel… and get some ideas. (I love this one!) They’re always a good read anyway … definitely enough to get your heart beating… and give you some great ideas
I really enjoyed this one and for .99 cents on Kindle (BTW you can get your own kindle reader free from Amazon, and download it to your PC INSTANTLY …you can’t go wrong!
They are great just to get your own libido going!
They have great prices on physical books too and you can pick up quite a bundle. Sometimes even with Free Shipping.
Have a look around but check this out first. It’s enough to get your revved and get a few ideas of your own.
Get him a sexy novel… or just share yours … or even share the one you’re reading. They have the same effect on men too!
If there’s one thing I now know for sure, is most men love to have a woman who enjoys sex and a little bit of trash!
Talk dirty during the day. For example… I can’t wait till you have your way with me later…. Or I can’t wait to feel you inside me later…. Hope you’ll be ready because I can’t wait. (I love talking a little dirty during the day… as well as in bed… it really sets the mood’
Talk dirty in bed…. If you have the confidence that is. I know it can take a little getting used to… but it’s so worth it. My husband is really good at it… I used to find myself speechless until I got my hands on this series below. Even then, it did take some practice but I started with the ‘tamer’ ideas first… it doesn’t take long until you’re a pro. I can’t believe how much it’s helped to spice up our love life.
Buy a new outfit and book a dinner date.
Make it a little more risqué than usual and model it for him. I.e.: Stick your chest out (have it low cut) and say ‘how does this look’…. Perhaps if you can… prance around in stiletto heels.
Go for a nice relaxing dinner, and then have a chilled bottle of wine waiting for you when you get home. Lure him into the bedroom and ask him to help you remove your dress. I can almost guarantee it won’t stop there!
If you’re feeling a little less than ‘sexy’ i.e.: body image wise… set a goal for yourself to completely re-invent yourself. I have a 30 day plan to give you a great start… will share the link when it’s ready.
I know a few years ago when I felt a little frumpy, particularly after having kids, I decided I wanted to get my body back and become a little new and improved so I pulled out my Callanetics DVD and put myself through a 30 day challenge.
I kid you not… you sure know you’ve done it when you’re through. I other words, it really is a challenge at first, but after the first week, you’ll find it gets easier and the results are incredible. One of my ‘oldies’ but goodies’… click here to read more about Callanetics. (It works like a charm)
Stroke his crotch under the dinner table out of the blue, or even while you’re watching the news. Just give it a rub and ask how he’s doing??
When in bed … even if you’re reading a book or watching TV, take his hand and put it between your legs… or on your breast. Just act casual. I can almost guarantee he’ll respond.
Buy a sex toy and surprise him. Here’s one of my faves.
The bottom line is… it is much easier to spice up sex life if you are just willing to put in the time and be a little creative.
Not only will these tips spice up your sex life you’ll find out how to improve your relationship too… as great sex affects much more than life in the bedroom!