Confidence in bed…10 tips for women.
Since my last post on how to gain confidence in bed, you’d be amazed at the emails I’ve received asking me to write and share a few tips.
It’s really amazing due to the fact that this site is almost brand new that I have had so many emails to solidify the fact that most women have a bit of a barrier in this area.
While I do want this site to be on the ‘risqué’ side, to a certain degree, just to allow you to develop your inner devil, I want to try to maintain a bit of class too… and I know that there are times I may not come across that way.
It’s a bit of a fine line I suppose, because confidence in bed is something that has to be developed and sometimes to develop it, we have to be a little stronger with ourselves and ‘act as if’ … at least in the beginning until it all starts to become natural.
I’ll let you in on a little secret here, but I have had a long history in the self development profession and while I am not a practitioner in this area, the amount of knowledge on the human condition I have gleaned over the years really lends a positive spin on helping women step outside their comfort zones in order to become the hottie they really are.
It matters not what shape or size you are… we’re all built differently anyway…. It really all starts in our minds.
On my last blog I had touched on the fact that many women feel ‘not so sexy’ of lack confidence in bed due to the shape of their bodies. This really is the ‘main’ reason women feel embarrassed, hence the well known fact that many women want the lights off while playing behind closed doors.
Because I know first hand that so many women feel badly about their bodies I suggested an excellent work out program called Callenetics. Click here to have a look!
I’m not going to go on about Callanetics in this post too much because I have a few tips to share instead, but if your insecurities are anchored around your weight or shape, I would highly suggest you get yourself a copy and do it at least 3 times per week. It hurts but it really works.
End of speech.
So, here are a few tips to get you on the road to build your confidence in bed:
1) Take a pencil and piece of paper and write a list of things that bother you about your mindset and perhaps “yourself” when embarking on a run between the sheets.
2) With the same pencil and piece of paper – list what needs to be ‘changed’ (about you) and how you could go about making the changes.
3) For example, if the issue is weight, cellulite, lack of body tone, then take me up on the suggestion of Callenetics…take a look and seriously consider *click here*…. I will let you in on one secret though….. You have to actually DO IT. (I.e.: not order it, and put it on the shelf).
4) Realize your partner is not the one picking you apart. You are picking yourself apart. Its time to change your mindset and find ways to boost your own confidence. A great resource for boosting confidence is Know Yourself: A Woman’s Guide to Wholeness, Radiance & Supreme Confidence Available both in hard copy and Kindle. (Personally I enjoyed the physical book because I could highlight the areas that applied to me).
It’s a book to really build your confidence in general, but if you decide to buy into your positives (which you DO have) and work on your mindset, it can be a really great asset to develop new thinking habits and the way you feel about your overall self, daily life and of course when more confident in all aspects of life, inevitably, you will also become more confident in bed. (I will write on this soon and share a few of my other inhibitions)
5) Put more effort into your appearance, even during the day. If it means getting up a little early to do things such as a work out routine, then do so. Once you see results you will be revved up to keep going.
6) Put your make up on every day and do your hair.
7) Put effort into your dress. I have to be honest, I am more of a casual dresser, but at least finding the right jeans for example that fit properly and don’t accent my flaws has a way of improving sexual confidence. (even if not in bed… yet!)
8.) If you’re like me and have a hint of subtle greys coming through, color your hair. (Or go a lighter shade). You would be amazed at how a refreshing hair color wash can take years off and pick you up. Feeling good about yourself in your daily life also boosts sexual confidence in bed. I know it sounds peculiar, but it does.
9) When getting ready to play between the sheets, visualize yourself as being HOT and desirable (because you ARE, even if you don’t feel it yet)…. Tell yourself, ‘he’ wants YOU. He wants your ravishing body and can’t get enough of it. (He does actually… you just have to realize it). Picture yourself as the vixen you want to be and hold that thought. The vibration will rub off and put the ball in your court.
10) Keep your toenails painted and your feet buffed too. Make sure your legs and armpits are shaved. This way you won’t be embarrassed at having gardeners’ feet and Sasquatch legs, etc. (It really does make a difference when you don’t feel you need to be curling your toes to hide your un manicured nails).
Conclusion for now: Know that you hold the key to your mind and body. If you really want to feel confident in bed, change the things about yourself that you do have control over, i.e.: hair, make up, grooming, weight, and you will find once you package yourself properly you’ll gain more confidence and self esteem throughout the day… but most importantly have new found confidence in bed.